Generation 3: Chapter 9

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. . . GARETH'S POV . . .

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I had a pretty bad headache this morning when I woke up in Nina's bed.. I've been staying here for the past three nights and I still hadn't heard anything from Gibson, but then again, I never really expected him to call me anyways.. I've been having this weird dream ever since I've been staying here; something always happens to Gibson and I'm either never able to reach him in time, never able to keep him from being killed, or never being able to do anything in general to give him any kind of help. It's like whenever I get closer, he only gets further away and I wake up after every time I fail. This sucks. I can't do shit right in real life or my dreams..

I smoke a cigarette at Nina's kitchen table as I watch her cook in her pajamas at the stove, making us a late breakfast since we woke up around 11:30 and I begin to wonder why I'm still here. I see Nina look over her shoulder at me, giving me a quick and barely visible smile before going back to cooking, "You're hungry, right?" She asks and I nod even though she can't see me doing it.

Nina set down breakfast in front of me and I starred at it as I continued my cigarette, Nina then joining me at the table and I could feel her eyes on me. I looked up from my plate and took another drag of my smoke, "What?" I asked blandly.

"..Nothing," she replied quietly, seemingly a little glum now when she saw that I was.

"What is it, Nina?" I pressured a little, seeing her poking at her food on her plate with her fork and I finished my cigarette, starring at her as I put it out.

"I just.. I just feel like you haven't been happy since you got here, like something has been on your mind. Are you still worried about your step-mom?" She wondered and I completely forgot about the lie I had told her until she brought it up now.

"No.. I'm fine, don't worry about me," I reassured her.

"But.. What's wrong then, if it's not about your mom?"

"Just drop it, Nina.." I recommended highly, watching her break eye contact first and she began taking small bites of her food the fork had been playing with.

I ate my food quicker than Nina, but then again I wasn't taking small bites as if feeding a fucking mouse, which annoyed me a little as I sat there, plate cleared and she still had more than half of hers left. I grabbed my pack of smokes and pulled out another cigarette, my palette already in need of another to help try and get rid of some of this stress I was carrying around with me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Nina asked again and I grew angry, "I-I mean.. You've been chain smoking since you got here and-" I slammed the pack back down onto the table with more force than needed and Nina flinched, dropping her fork onto her plate.

"Dammit, Nina.. If I wanna fuckin' talk about it, then I will, alright?" I stressed angrily and I watched her nod quickly in understanding. There was a short silence between us, taking this time to light my cigarette.

"I'm sorry," she added quietly and I sighed, taking a long drag of my smoke before answering her, trying to calm myself down a little.

"It's okay, beautiful.. Just stop asking, it only pisses me off more," I replied and I could see her out of the corner of my eye nodding once more.

"Alright.." She retorted, picking up her fork again, "Are you going to stay tonight? You can, if you want to again," she offered and I shrugged.

"Sure.. I'm gunna go to the house and pick up some clothes and run some errands in a few minutes.." I replied and she nodded.

I finished my cigarette before she finished eating and stood up, going up to her room to put my clothes back on that I had worn there a few days ago, clean from Nina washing them. I looked around her room, searching for my keys and I found them on the floor next to the bed, picking them up and putting them into one of my pockets. I stood in her room for a moment, looking around and for the first time, I actually noticed some of the things she does when she's alone, things I never learned because, well, I didn't care. She had a large cup on a drawing table filled with paint brushes and remnants of dried paint, a sketch pad lying upon it and she even had a blank mannequin standing next to an easel. I guess that's why she wanted to go to the art museum that one day, she liked painting and anything that had to do with being creative on a canvas, no matter what the canvas was. "Hmm.." I let out softly, never noticing any of her interests until now.

I came back down, seeing her at the bottom of the stairs and she smiled slightly as she held my pack of cigarettes I had left in the kitchen. I reached her and she handed them off to me, taking them and putting them within another pocket, "Thanks, beautiful.. I'll be back later," I said with a smirk and she nodded. I leaned in and kissed her cheek softly, seeing her smile more and I walked out, closing the door behind me and making my way to the car. I remembered that I had taken it from Gibs, giving him nothing to use for transport and I began wondering if he was able to get to work on time or get anywhere easily without it.. It had slipped my mind completely that I had left him with nothing, I felt a little bad about that, but I shrugged it off as I got into the car and drove back to the house to pick up some things of mine. ..Hopefully Gibson wasn't home.

I got to our house and parked the car, walking down the dock and when I approached the gate, Jess jumped up and put her paws on the fence. She let out a high-pitched bark of excitement and I rushed for the gate, petting her and trying to calm her down, "Sshhh! Daddy's gotta get in and out undetected, okay?" I cooed softly, feeling her lick my hand before jumping down and I looked towards the house; if Jess was outside and not in her crate, that meant Gibson's home. Or, maybe he just stepped out for a quick moment and this was my window of opportunity. 

I walked up to the door and checked it, noticing it was locked and I was lucky enough to know then that Gibson wasn't here right now, taking out my keys from my pocket quickly and unlocking it to go inside. I rushed passed Gibson's stairs and the living area, going down to my bedroom and opening the door to see it how I left it; a mess. Sometimes Gibson would clean it up for me when I've been gone for a few days, but I guess not this time; the only thing he did was make my bed, but it still smelled of old beer from the bottles left in here. I grabbed a bag from under my bed and began packing a few t-shirts and pants and other essentials within the dresser and around my room.. I decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to change out of the clothes I was wearing, too. I didn't bring a whole lot, but enough to last me a few more days before I came home to what I hoped would be a more normal state, hoping Gibson would just forget about all of this so I didn't have to deal with his criticism. 

 I hear Jess's claws tapping on the floorboards above me and then down the stairs in a hurry, barging into my room and she danced around me excitedly. Did I leave the door open? I must've.. I bent down and took a moment to give her some attention that I was sure she needed from me, "Hey, girl.. Don't worry, I'll be back soon. Gibs seems like he's still takin' good care of you, you can last a few more days without me, right?" I questioned and she licked my arms and attempted at my chin as well but I pulled away in time, chuckling softly at her affectionate behavior. "Be good, Jess," I told her with a smile and I stood up, grabbing my bag and leaving my room to go back upstairs and leave.

I reached the top of the stairs and went to walk passed the living area when I was forced to stop in my tracks, "You're a stealthy mother fucker, I'll give you that.." I said softly, looking over my shoulder and seeing Gibson sitting on the couch in the living room.

"I would say the same, but you left the door unlocked and open, plus I noticed your car in the parking lot.. For someone who hasn't gotten caught yet, you'd think you'd use the same tactics as to not get caught by me," Gibson replied, mocking me with an emotionless expression. "Where are you off to?" He asked.

"I don't have time for this bullshit, Gibs," I replied.

"Where did you stay the last few nights? Over at a friends? A motel?" He continued to question.

"None of your fuckin' business," I returned harshly.

"Gareth, can you just drop the tough guy act and take the time to talk to me? We both know you're not good at it, anyways," He asked, a hint of frustration in his tone.

I drop my bag with anger and face him, walking towards the living room, "What the hell's that supposed to mean? It's not an act, asshole, I'm still a little pissed off if you haven't noticed," I retorted.

"And what are you so mad about, exactly? Aren't I the one you betrayed and broke our agreement? If anything, I should have been the one to fly off the handle and run away for three days," he replied, still mocking me.

"Fuck you, dude, I didn't run away! I just didn't want to deal with your shit, and I still don't, hence the bag."

"You're pathetic, look at you.. Running away just because you're scared to face what you did wrong," Gibson added and I grew angered, watching him hesitate a moment as he studied my face, which made me the slightest bit nervous..

"What..?" I asked with little patience.

"Who was it Gareth?" He asked and I gave him a questioning expression, not knowing what he was talking about, "Who'd you run to to help you deal with this? Who's other pathetic arms did you run into in order to avoid this.. Confrontation?" He wondered, noticing a menacing smirk form on his lips as he stood and began to approach me.

"Fuck you, what the hell are you talking about.." I brushed off, turning around and walking to my bag to pick it up.

"Come on, just tell me.. Who was it? It's not like you to run to Bennu or Bahiti.. What about that girl down the road a little ways; Angie, right? What about the girl that lives in that apartment complex by the diner?" He continued to play his stupid guessing game and I clutched the handle my bag angrily, walking towards the door. 

"Shut up, Gibson, before I fucking deck you," I warned, feeling him at my heals as I continued towards the door.

"Oh.. Oh man. No way.." Gibson added, acting as if he had it all figured out. "You ran to Nina, didn't you? Poor little thing is powerless over the likes of you.. What kind of excuse did you give her?" He continued, surprised and angry that he had gotten it right, but I knew he'd eventually figure it out; it is Gibson, after all.. I should've gotten the hell outta here while I had the chance. "Wow, Gareth.. Just when I thought you couldn't sink any lower.."

I dropped my bag and turned around, grabbing him by the front of his pampered shirt and pushed him against the sliding door, "I told you to shut the fuck up! It doesn't matter where the hell I go, just so long as it isn't here where I'm forced to listen to you parenting me!" I yelled, seeing in his expression  that he was hardly intimidated. 

We stared one another down for a few moments before Gibson finally spoke up, "I'm not parenting you, Gareth, I'm looking out for you. Why is it so hard for you to see that?" He asked, my anger fading from my expression as I continued to hold him there, "We stopped for a reason.. We stopped because we didn't want to end up in Dad's position or worse.. Let me go and just talk to me for ten minutes, that's all I want," he requested. I held him in place for a few more moments, sighing heavily as my grip loosened upon his shirt and I let him go, watching him fixing his attire before walking passed me and back into the living room. I sighed once more and turned around, slowly walking towards the living room as well to join him and to get this shit over with.

When we both sat down, it took a long moment for Gibson to begin, at least that's what I wanted, for him to start.. But both of us seemed reluctant to begin anything. We avoided eye contact, but eventually, Gibson spoke first and I was relived at the fact. "Gareth.. I simply just want to ask you why.. Why are you still doing this stuff?" He asked.

I let out a heavy sigh for the hundredth time, looking down at the ground momentarily before making eye contact with him once more, "Gibs, come on.. You can answer that question yourself. I don't understand why you even have to ask it.." I replied, hearing him sigh as well and his eyes went everywhere but at mine.

"Look.. I know what we used to do was great, I can at least admit that much.. It was exhilarating, fun, and we were able to just be ourselves.." He stalled a little before continuing, "But that's changed.. I've changed.." He replied.

"How, exactly?" I wondered.

"Gareth.. I'm almost 24, I'm not saying I'm old but I'm not getting any younger, either.. I.." He stopped, gathering his thoughts before speaking again, "I hate to bring this up again, but.. My ex was a sure thing, at least she was then.. I'm looking for someone, to.. You know.. Settle down with.. Maybe.. And you kind of ruined that. I want a family, Gareth, and I can't have one when I'm sneaking around taking people's lives when I'm trying to have one of my own.. What kind of example would I be giving if I were sneaking out every other night, abandoning my family that I want to take care of in order to 'take care' of other people.. I am saying that what we do is wrong, but I'm not denying the fact that I still think about what we used to do every day.. All the time. You're right, I did push my coworker a little too much.. I can admit that now that I've had time to think it over, and I'm sorry for not confessing it the other day.. But she just pushed me too far and I lost it a little, I had no idea she would be so weak and do what she did.." He continued. I was angered by his words, but I didn't speak up, trying not to interrupt him for once and he went on, "I'm sorry.. Even though I didn't say as much as I would normally in those kinds of situations, she was just weak.. I didn't know she would do such a thing, I didn't think I'd break our promise as well if I just simply told her off, but I guess I might've overstepped my boundaries.. I'm sorry, Gareth.." He added, surprised a little that he had actually said an apology. 

I was at a loss for words for a few moments, not quite knowing how to take this information and unsure of what he would want me to say.. I had no idea he wanted to settle down, it's weird to think of him with a wife, let alone.. Uck, kids.. "It's okay.. I might've jumped the gun when calling you out on that, but it just seemed like your type of doing.. Yeah, I was pissed when I first heard about it, because I knew it was you from the start, but when I brought it up, you didn't admit to it, so I got mad when you were blaming me for shit when you did something yourself.. I guess I just feel betrayed, too, even if you didn't mean to do it. I try to control my urges, but come on, Gibs.. You know best out of anyone that I can't help myself.. The promise was a good idea, but I just.. I can't seem to follow it once I'm in the moment.." I reply. 

"How about not putting yourself in the moment? It's not that hard to just grasp reality over fantasy before you get in over your head," he retorted.

I stood from the chair and walked around the room, eventually stopping in the middle and Gibson gave me a questioning expression, "It's easier said than done," I replied, crossing my arms over my chest.

"And it's easier to get caught if you don't stop now," he replied with slight anger in his tone, rolling my eyes at his response, "Gareth.. Think about it for one second, do you really want to keep putting yourself into situations like this where you could get caught? I'm not saying you're going to, but there's always the chance of it happening, even you can agree to that.."

"Fine.. Let's make another promise then," I offer and he squints his eyes slightly, I could tell already he wasn't going to like my idea. "One more time. One last time, you and me. Let's go out with a bang! Maybe that's why I can't stop, our last time didn't feel like the last time."

"Gareth, that's stupid.. It goes against everything that I'm trying to tell you now, which is to stop this! There's no way I can do something like that again, not after this long," he replied with a short tone. I could tell I was making him more mad, but I didn't care.

"Come on, Gibs, don't even fucking act like you still don't have the potential to be yourself.. Think about it, it would be great for the both of us.. We get one last kill out of our system and then we stop! This time, I promise, but you have to do it with me. It's so much more fun if you're there.."

"Absolutely not," he replied, standing as well and walking over to me slowly, "You really do think this is a game, don't you? Where if you get caught by the police or die, you can just load from the last save point and try again.. It doesn't work like that, Gareth! Stop treating our lives as if they're disposable and for once stop thinking about yourself!" His voice began to yell as he reached the last of his words.

"Then what do you think we should do, genius?" I mocked slightly.

"We..? No, no, no.. You need to get your shit together and forget about ever doing this again! What I need to do is hope that one day you'll finally come to your senses and knock this shit off! Grow up, dammit! Think about your future, will you? What the hell are you going to do the rest of your life, huh? Why don't you get a job or something? Occupy yourself, force yourself to forget all of this and just.. Move on, Gareth.. Please.." Gibson added with a serious tone and expression. 

"Any other suggestions?" I asked, letting him know I wasn't sold on his advice and Gibson sighed heavily, reaching up with one of his hands and rubbing his temple as he walked towards the back door, looking out of it and I watched him within the now silent room. Only about half a minute passed, but it felt like hours as I continued to watch the back of his head, waiting for an answer.

"Let's go see Dad," he finally spoke up and my eyes widened.

"Seriously..? That's your suggestion? We haven't seen him in six-"

"..Seven.."

"Whatever, seven months.. He hasn't talked to us since he was transferred here, what in the hell makes you think he'll act any different now?" I asked in frustration.

"He'll talk if we tell him the predicament we're in," Gibson replied and my expression went a little baffled as I watched him face me again.

"..You can't be serious.." I somewhat stated and questioned.

"Yeah, I'm serious," he replied and I didn't know what to say.. Coming from Gibs, it didn't sound like it was a bad idea, but when I thought about it myself, I couldn't imagine it going well at all..

"I think you've finally lost it, Gibs.." I joked slightly, but his expression didn't change, remaining serious and I sighed softly. "..What is telling him everything going to solve?"

"I'm sure he'll say something like how you should stop these charades while you're ahead, maybe he can talk some sense into you since I can't," Gibson replied.

"You really think after five years of him not saying a word to us, he's going to want to say something now?"

"Well, we're going to be giving him a reason to say something.. There's no way he can ignore this and not help us," he added, slowly beginning to convince me, but I still wasn't completely on board with it.

"And how do you know he'll be the same guy he's always been?" I asked, seeing Gibson hesitate and he dropped his gaze momentarily.

"I don't," he replied simply, "But it's worth a try, isn't it? Don't you want someone else's opinion other than my own? Dad's the only one that we can maybe talk to about this and he's the only one that can relate," he continued to try and persuade me.  

I turned away from him to think for a moment, pacing around the room slowly, "Jesus.. I don't know, man.. Something's telling me we shouldn't fill him in on what we've been doing.. Just think, he's been getting better, at least that's what Bennu believes, what if bringing this stuff up could make him, like.. Relapse or something..?" I mentioned, facing him again.

"Relapse to what exactly?" Gibson asked, though his expression read as if he thought I was stupid for thinking such a thing.

"Fuck.. I don't know, dude.. Killing, maybe? That's why he's there in the fucking first place, isn't it?" I asked sarcastically and with slight anger.

"And what's he going to do, Gareth.. Kill his own kids? With what, too? They don't let the patients have anything in their possession, and they won't leave us alone with him, so we don't have to fend for ourselves should he even do anything.. It's not going to be as bad as you're making it sound. It's Dad, Gareth.. He's never hurt us, and I feel like he never would.. Don't you?" He asked and I sighed.

"I want to believe he wouldn't, but.." I stopped, my gaze dropping to the floor. I heard Gibson let out a light chuckle, causing me to look back up to him in a confused manner, "What is it?"

"I was just trying to think where you could've left your balls.. I mean, you obviously left them here before you went to Nina's, and yet, now that you're here, you still don't have them. Wherever could they be?" He taunted and my expression went livid.

"You're such a fucking dick, you know that? I'm trying to find a good reason in your logic as to why the fuck we need to go to the damn hospital and tell Dad everything when it's none of his business anyways, and who knows what kind of reaction we're going to get! What if he freaks the fuck out? What if he tells me I should just do what I love and continue my work, huh!? I know that you have to be right all the time, Gibson, but for once in your life, listen to what you're fucking saying.. You want to go there, pretty much tell him that I'm still killing people, and then ask what I should do? It's easy for you to say all of this because you're not going to be the one who either gets punishment or praise! You have nothing to fucking worry about! You know what? Now that I said all of this, I made my decision.. Fuck you, fuck Dad, fuck the hospital and whatever else I can't think of at the moment but I'm sure needs to be said can fuck off, too! ..I'm outta here," I state with anger, turning around and walking towards the door to get my bag and leave.

"Where are you going?" He asked again like he had the other day, yet this time I answered him.

I stopped and turned around angrily, "To Nina's, Gibson, alright? I'm going to fucking Nina's. So, if you need me, I'll be there! Have anything to say now? Go the fuck ahead! Cause you know what? I don't give a shit anymore.. Every time we try to work things out, which doesn't happen often, you have to have it your way because you think I'm mentally incapable of thinking of a good plan, or outcome, or resolution or whatever! As much as you make it seem like I have an opinion on anything, I don't! We always end up doing what you want to, but not this time. I refuse to go see Dad if that's what we're going to be telling him! I'll see him with you for a visit, sure, but I'm not going if we're just gunna lay everything out on the table for that maniac, only to see him react badly! And I'm not putting myself in the position to get ridiculed anymore!" I yelled, my tone filled with rage and I felt like my body was on fire for how mad I was.

I turned around once more and grabbed my bag, leaving out the front door, but before I could leave the property, I heard Gibson behind me, "Gareth, wait! ..Please.." He called out and I stopped before I could leave through the gate.

"What.." I asked harshly.

"Listen.." He began, but lowered his voice to just above a whisper now that we weren't in the privacy of our house, "I'm sorry, alright? It's just.. I don't know why I do that. It's like a defense mechanism or something I do when we don't see eye to eye, but I'm sorry, okay? That's now the fourth or fifth time I've said it today without you even saying it once or you needing to ask for an apology! Doesn't that count for anything? I want to make things better, and I understand that sometimes the.. Urges.. Become a little too much for you to handle and you act on them, but I just.. I need you to understand that I'm only looking out for you. I don't want you to go to jail or to the hospital that Dad's at. I.." He stopped.

Gibson hesitated, his eyes dropping from mine as if he couldn't look at me before he continued, walking away from me as if to get space, "I don't want to be alone.. I don't want you to be locked away somewhere and I have to come visit you like we do with Dad.. I couldn't live with myself if I knew you were in a place like that, you don't belong behind bars or behind a locked, padded door," he finished.

Wow.. I had never witnessed Gibson at such a loss. He always had answers for everything, he always kept his chin up and barely ever showed signs of weakness, but this, right here, is something I never thought I'd see. My little brother was stronger than I was, at least that's what I had thought, but I guess he proved that he'd be nothing without me, he has occasions where he himself feels weak and I could tell he hated it.. I was his crutch, his shoulder to lean on, his other half, and I'd destroy all of that if I continue to take these risks.. 

"You won't be alone, Gibs. Earlier you told me you wanted something, you thought of that promise so you could have a normal life. Go and do that, then.. You won't be alone when you have a family," I reply.

"You're part of my family, Gareth," he replied harshly, facing me again and I could see the seriousness in his eyes.

"I'm your family no matter what happens to me, Gibs.. Stop worrying so much about me and start worrying about yourself, alright?" I walked towards him and threw my one arm around him, Gibson taking a moment to realize what I was doing, "How often do I hug you, asshole? Come on.." I added and he let out a quick chuckle, throwing one of his arms around me finally and we hugged briefly.

I pulled away from him and put my hand on his shoulder, "I'll be back in a few days, there's some shit I wanna think about. You do the same while I'm gone," I encouraged, patting his shoulder and walking out through the gate and walking to my car to return to Nina's.

 

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Original chapter written and posted on March 2, 2014