Thursday, January 28, 2021

Generation 3: Chapter 14

  

🛑 This chapter is not suitable for anyone under the age of 18 🛑



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. . . GIBSON'S POV . . .


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Hannah's bed was so much more comfortable than mine, or maybe it wasn't, maybe it was just better because it was hers. I felt like a creep whenever I'd take deep breaths through my nose within her pillow to fully savor her scent, but during troubled times, I just couldn't help myself.. This was one of those instances. I've been feeling a little insecure the past two weeks ever since we drank with my brother and I want to believe nothing happened, but whenever I pass out like that, knowing full well that they were still awake.. Something about it shook me to my core and it worried me that maybe something actually did happen, she just wasn't telling me, and neither was Gareth. She's been acting different. I tried to invite her over a few times since then since she told me how much fun it was, but she's declined every invitation and I've ended up coming over to her place instead. I've asked her on a few different occasions if Gareth had said anything that made her upset and she continuously replied that nothing happened, but if nothing happened, then why was she acting this way? Gareth has been acting normal and when I had asked him if anything happened, he didn't show any sign as if he was lying when he told me that nothing went wrong, he even got a little defensive and called me asshole for even thinking such a thing. I couldn't tell if I was acting on a hunch or if I was just being paranoid..


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I could hear the shower running from the bathroom in her room, trying my best to not think about the negative and I even tried to think of her naked, picturing the water falling down all over her to even spark a flame of excitement within me so I could feel something other than this insecurity.. But, my mind wouldn't let me focus, I constantly fell back into a gloomy state and all I could think of was Hannah showering, but Gareth would then join her instead of me and have his way with her as if he could walk willingly into my thoughts on his own and rubbing it in that he was taking what was mine. The moment he'd enter my thoughts to take over the role I was supposed to be playing, I'd get angry and take another deep breath into her pillow. His past actions with my ex clouded my mind and he haunted every thought that I wish I could have with Hannah, but thinking about it wasn't good enough. In order to suppress these thoughts, in order to replace these troubling notions with pleasant memories, I'd need to act it all out to decipher between what was real and fiction and I looked to the bathroom door, wondering if I should go in and join her in the shower or if I should let her be and learn how to deal with this another way.. But, what other way?


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Before I even could think about getting the strength to get off the bed to join her, I heard the shower stop and I sat up quickly, scooting to the edge of the bed and sitting there, waiting for her to come out like a puppy waited at the front door for its master to get home. I tapped my foot on the floor, restless leg syndrome getting the best of me and my longing to see her open the door was making me more and more impatient when I've only been sitting here for about twenty seconds. Anyone looking at me right now would assume I'm just a slightly impatient man, though on the inside I felt like the tail of a rattlesnake. Without physically doing what I wanted, these false and extremely inappropriate and infuriating thoughts were going to drive me up a damn wall. These thoughts seemed so real, though.. Not only did the mere realization that I was thinking about my own brother naked as he took my girlfriend right out from under me was nauseating, but the fact that he was able to mess with my mind this much was a little infuriating and every time I'd try to purposely think of something else, the same motion picture played in my mind over and over. The more I thought of it, the more I saw him as an enemy even though I wanted to believe that my own mind was just playing tricks on me due to my inhibition.


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The sound of the door to the bathroom opening was like music to my ears and I looked up to Hannah who stood in a bath towel wrapped around her, her hair all pulled back into a bun and still wet from the shower and even with the morning sun barely showing it's face through the windows, the light from the day coming in made her look radiant. I quickly looked passed her for a moment to make sure my brother wasn't in the bathroom as well and I realized then that the thoughts of him taking her in the shower were false; there's one thing proved wrong, though how many more did I need to go before I could feel right again?

"Oh.. You're awake," she said sweetly with a warm smile and my heart skipped a beat when I looked at how beautiful she was. My eyes wouldn't leave hers and I didn't know what kind of expression I held, but based on her reaction, I assumed it wasn't good, "Are you alright..?" She questioned, adjusting her towel to secure it better as she continued to look at me and I watched her hands as she fixed it, still unable to shake my troubling thoughts and finally I was able to act.


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I stood up and before she even knew what hit her, I stepped forward and my lips crashed into hers, my hands on either side of her face and I pulled her into my lips as hard as I could. My breathing was already heavy through my nose and I heard her letting out soft moans that soon turned into slightly troubled ones the harder I seemed to go. She stepped back, but I followed her and pressed up against her when her back hit the wall and my hands dropped down to her towel to quickly pull it from her body and throw it to the ground. She let out a moan that seemed to contest to what I was doing, but I didn't want to believe it, I refused to stop and I needed to make her mine even when I was proving it to no one but myself.


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I broke from the kiss and picked her up, turning around to throw her on the bed and she fell onto the sheets with an expression I wasn't familiar with, yet it didn't stop me from climbing over her and my lips pushed back into hers. I wanted her this very moment and as I kissed her, I reached back to the rim of my underwear and began pulling them down as I laid between her legs, still panting heavily and every time I breathed in I could smell her freshly washed hair that only compelled me more to continue. Hannah turned her head away from me and broke the kiss and my lips instantly went to her neck, biting and kissing her harshly, "Gi.. Gibson," she voiced with a soft yet strained tone, but I kept going when I heard her say my name beneath what I wanted to believe was her ecstasy. "G-Gibson.. St.. Stop," she continued, but I didn't hear anything she said after my name. 


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I continued to try to pull my underwear off as I sucked on her neck harshly and I felt her hands then upon my chest, pushing at me softly, "Stop it.." She continued, but the determination within me pushed back and I kissed her once more, finally pulling my bottoms down enough to touch myself and get myself ready to take her.

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Suddenly, the force of a push as my chest caused me to unwillingly break the kiss and before I could open my eyes to question her reluctance, I felt a hand slap across my face and my head jerked to the right, "I said stop!" She voiced in a pleading, angered manner and I looked to her in confusion despite the pain in my cheek, finally noticing the discrepancy in her expression as well as the resilience she portrayed and I stood up, fixing my underwear and losing my balance slightly until I fell back onto the wall.


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"What the hell is wrong with you? Did you not hear me?" She questioned and I watched her get off of the bed in a hurry and grab the towel I had taken from her, wrapping it back around her body and she stood away from me on the other side of her tiny room.


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"I.."  I continued to let out a harsh panting pace as I tried to regain composure. "I-I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.." I let out in a whisper and my back slid down the wall, collapsing within myself and I sat on the ground as a defeated man. Why had I let such minuscule thoughts overwhelm me to the point where my own girlfriend had to fend for herself? She hit me.. That's never, ever happened before, and the persona I had suddenly been consumed with never had happened before, either.. Why were all of these false thoughts making me so paranoid? "Forgive me, please.." I pleaded, hanging my head and bringing my knees to my chest as I sat there in despair. I rubbed my entire face with both of my hands, trying to wash away my distraught, but her reaction and my remembering my own movement hit me pretty hard.


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I dropped my hands from my face and looked towards Hannah, seeing her still in a defensive manner and I hated myself for causing her so much discrepancy over the likes of my pathetic intuition that I knew was false.. I wronged her, greatly, and I was ashamed to even look at her now, so I dropped my gaze to the bed in front of me. I couldn't get passed the fact that she felt she needed to put up a struggle in order to get me to stop what I was doing.. I was nothing like Gareth, nothing, yet my actions just now reminded me of him and yet again he was in my thoughts. There was seemingly nothing I could do that would result in me not thinking about him, even with my attempt at using Hannah to cure this that only made things worse.


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"What was that, Gibson..?" I heard Hannah ask and I looked up to her, seeing her approach the bed and I could see the hesitation her body portrayed, but she slowly sat on the bed anyways, concern written all over her face.

"I'm sorry, I just.. I don't know what came over me," I replied, turning my attention away from her in slight shame.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm all for rough sex every now and then, but that was something else entirely," she attempted to play off as if it wasn't a big deal, but I could still sense the worry in her tone. "I'm sorry for hitting you, but.."

"No, don't be sorry. All of this is my fault, you have nothing to apologize for," I replied sternly and she lowered her view to her lap, the room falling silent for a few moments before she talked again.


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"What's wrong? It's not like you to be so.. Forceful.. Tell me," she requested with concern and I looked back to her, "Come here," she continued, motioning with her hand for me to join her on the bed and I took a few deep breaths before standing up slowly and joining her, though sitting as far away from her as I could so I could still give her space. 

"Please, tell me what's wrong so I can fix it," she encouraged, crawling over to me to get closer and I turned my head away from her. I was a little uncomfortable with her being so close after what I had done, I didn't want to act on anything else that seemed forceful as she had labeled it, but luckily the insecurities I was feeling earlier weren't showing their cruel faces as much anymore in my head from being in her presence.


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"It's stupid, really.. And I'm stupid for even worrying about it," I reply, still facing away from her and I felt her fingers upon my chin, pulling my head to face her and I watched as her lips formed the tiniest of smiles, her hand then running over my cheek.

"Tell me," she continued to persist.

"I've just.. I've lost a lot of my trust in Gareth. It makes me think terrible things and makes me think the worst out of some situations. My, uhm.. My last girlfriend cheated on me with him, so ever since then I can't trust him like I used to be able to, and ever since that night where we all hung out, I can't help but think he tried something with you since I passed out and wasn't there to keep him in line.. And even though both of you told me that nothing happened, it's still all I can think of because he's wronged me before and I guess I'm just worried it's going to happen again.. I'm worried I'll lose you.. I don't know, it's just like.. Some kind of sixth sense I have when it comes to him, I can't help but worry now.. I want him to be on good terms with who I'm seeing since he's a big part of my life, but I'm always worried now that he might want to get too familiar with you just because of what he's done in the past," I replied, lowering my head once more.

Hannah turned me towards her again with her hand, "I'm not your ex, Gibson, and I would never choose your brother over you.. Even though you don't trust him, trust me, okay?" She strongly suggested, "Nothing happened between us. We had a few beers and talked, stood outside on the dock because it was nice out, and then I went to bed around two, like I told you before. Stop worrying about this and let it go, alright?" She encouraged, gently smiling and I eventually nodded.


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"But, then.. Why have you been acting so weird? You won't come over ever since that night, what else was I supposed to think this whole time? I do trust you, Hannah, but these past two weeks have just been.. Well, difficult for me, to say the least," I reply, watching as she turned her view then to the bed.


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. . . HANNAH'S POV . . .


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Gibson surprised me by how in tune he was with Gareth.. Even though nothing happened between Gareth and I, Gibson could somehow still tell that something was off about that night. Gareth was hard to turn down, I admit that I was pretty attracted to him because he looked and sounded like Gibson, naturally that's what attracted me at first the moment we introduced ourselves, but the way he acted wasn't anything that could wow me enough to the point where I'd jeopardize Gibson and I's relationship. Gareth wasn't anything like the man in front of me. For being twins, they were absolutely nothing alike. I was really buzzed that night I had stayed up with Gareth and I shouldn't have flirted, I shouldn't have let him get as close as he did, but I was glad that I didn't let anything happen, especially now knowing that Gibson's last girlfriend fell victim to Gareth, I didn't want to put Gibson through that again and I was glad that I wouldn't have to. 


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But, Gibson's concern as to why I've been acting weird lately made me nervous and I could feel my heart beginning to race as I avoided eye contact. "Hannah, I told you what was bothering me, now it's your turn," he said with a nervous chuckle.

"How about you go make us some coffee?" I suggested, trying to buy myself some time so I could at least get dressed and dry my hair before talking to him about what was bothering me. 

"No.. I can't take that, the wait would kill me.. Just tell me now.. Please," he persisted and I could tell he needed complete closure before he'd stop worrying about me.


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"I don't want you to be mad, and I don't think you will be, but.. I asked Gareth what your view on children was, and I know I should've just asked you and talked to you about it, and I know that it's something that we should've discussed, so I'm sorry for going behind your back and asking him.. I know I should've just came out and said it to you instead but I was nervous. I didn't want to scare you away if I brought something like that up so early into us dating," I answered, looking up to him and he was listening wholeheartedly to my every word.

"Wha'd he say..?" He asked and I smirked.

"Well, he said that you wanted them, and that you'd be a really good dad."

"He did?" He questioned as if it was hard to believe and I nodded happily, "Well.. What does this have to do with anything? Why was something like that bothering you?"


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Even though I hadn't taken a pregnancy test yet, I knew that my body was prepping for it when I've been sick to my stomach the past few weeks, I knew I had to be, but I didn't realize it until only a few days after that night we had all drank together. 

"Well, I forgot to take one of my pills a few weeks ago. I wasn't hungover the day after we all drank together, but I was getting sick anyways. I thought it was the stomach flu or something, but I.. Think I.. Might be pregnant..?" I replied and looked to his face, seeing his jaw begin to drop slightly and his eyes widened a little, "Don't get too excited just yet.. I'm not a hundred percent, but.. If I am, what are we going to do?" I asked with worry, "Even though I want children, I didn't expect it so soon.. I still have my job to worry about and I'm trying so hard to save money so I can open my own business, but I can't if I'm expecting.. I didn't want this to happen until a few years from now and I was more stable and prepared, but.. I need to spend all of what I've been saving on the baby now if I'm pregnant and what if I never get to fulfill my dream? What.. What are we going to do? What do you think?" I asked with worry. I felt like I was talking a mile a minute.


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"Marry me," he replied and now I was the one with wide eyes and mouth dropped open.

"W-What..?"

"Marry me, Hannah.. If you aren't pregnant, then down the road a ways, I wouldn't mind if it happened.. And if you are already, then all the more reason. I know it's really soon and it might seem like we're moving fast, but I can't explain how much I've fallen for you over the past months we've been together. I don't want to imagine my life without you. I'll take care of everything, I'll make sure that we can provide for ourselves as well as the baby and as well as whatever you want to do with your career. I don't want you to have to worry about anything because whatever you want, I'll make it happen," he replied and I could feel my pulse in my neck and chest. He couldn't be serious, could he?


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"Please don't joke like that.. I don't find it very funny," I retorted, unable to believe everything he said and I was skeptical about how committed he was trying to come off as. Never have I ever felt this strong for someone and have them feel the same way. I've been in love before, a few times actually, but never once have I ever heard a confession such as the one he had just given me.

Gibson reached for my face and I felt his hand slide through my hair gently to the back of my head, "I'm not joking. I want this to work and I want to be with you, I want to wake up next to you every morning, I want to call you my wife and I want you to be pregnant.. I.. I do love you.. Even if you don't believe it now, I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you if I have to," he added and I was in slight shock. He loved me? I swallowed hard and I was at a loss for words, my eyes beginning to water a little and I looked down to my lap, "Do you.. Not love me..?" He continued and I looked back up to him with hesitation. 


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I've said those three words before, but every time I've said them, I've heard them in return yet it never panned out, it was never the truth, ever. I was skeptical to his words, but no man had ever said such a thing like Gibson had to me. It actually seemed like he meant it. "I mean.. I.. I've been through this so many times.. I've.. I've said those words before, but nothing ever became of it. I'm just hesitant, I guess.. I just don't want it to be too good to be true again.." I replied, still trying to avoid his eyes.


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"I don't care what others have said and didn't mean.. I mean it, I need you to see that," he replied with a slight sense of pleading. Gibson rolled his fingers around softly within my hair on the back of my head, hesitantly pulling me towards him and our lips met with such genuine softness that I almost let my watering eyes cave with tears down my cheeks, yet as I felt the sincerity within the kiss, my heart was telling me once again to be weak and to give in to his words and his proposal. Throughout the relationships that I thought would come to this point, none of them did, yet Gibson showed me first how he felt and it was no longer me waiting to be loved. We had switched rolls. 


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Gibson pulled away from the kiss slowly and we looked at one another, silence falling over us as I continued to ponder his words. Before I could reply to him again, he felt the need to try and convince me more, "Hannah, I've felt the same way you have about past relationships, but never has anyone impacted me so much to the point where I've asked them to marry me. You're different, no one can or ever will compare to you. If you say no then I'll continue to ask until you say yes," he added a nervously quiet chuckle after his words and I still looked at him with hesitation, "If you want, I'll take it back. Forget I asked you that and I'll ask again when it's more appropriate, when we're both more serious and sure about it.. Well, I am serious, but I want you to say yes when you're serious, too.. What if, well.. What if we went back a step from that, let's move in together instead and we'll see how it goes from there..?"

Even though I've had all this time to think about what he's been saying, I was still in shock as to how serious he was with all of this. Maybe taking this next step will help me figure out just how much I love him and see if it actually is the real thing. A subconscious smile spread over my lips and I nodded, "Okay," I replied and I watched him smile as well.


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"Yeah?" He asked excitedly and I nodded.

"Yeah. But, would you move here, or..? I mean, I only ask 'cause I have the daycare downstairs, where would I work if I moved in with you?" I added and I watched as he thought for a moment, but an idea ran through my head, "There's space downstairs for all of your books and things, I barely have anything down there. You could make the basement into a study or something if you wanted?" I suggested and I watched as he smirked slightly.

"That actually doesn't sound half bad.. Alright, I guess I'll.. Move here then?" He asked and I nodded, still keeping my smile and he let out an excited laugh, leaning in and kissing me.


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Gibson looked to me after our short kiss and I was unable to describe what I felt, my heart was racing and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted me. I smirked softly and looked to his lips, placing my hands on the sides of his face and pulling him into a rather deep kiss. I pulled Gibson over me and continued the kiss as I thought about what great news this was. So this was it. I was finally taking the next step with someone and even within all of the excitement I felt, there was a part of me that even kind of wished I was pregnant now. I wanted this, and I wanted him, I hoped things would only get better to hopefully prove one day to myself that this was, indeed, actually the real thing.


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. . . GIBSON'S POV . . .


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After getting ready for the day and enjoying a lot of the rest of it with Hannah, we decided that the sooner I tell Gareth about me moving out, the better. It'd be bad if we kept it from him and if he found out we were hiding something, it would only blow up in my face into something bigger than it needed to be. Hannah drove me back to my house and after she'd drop me off, she was going to drive to the corner store and pick up a pregnancy test to see if we needed to start preparing for a baby while we had the chance. I hoped she was pregnant, I hoped I wouldn't have to go through the next six and a half months staring at Nina and wishing I was going through what Gareth was.. I can't really stand that girl, but I humor her so Gareth doesn't take out his anger on her if she's being too difficult for him. I almost felt sorry for her in a way, knowing that she was stuck with someone like Gareth, yet I never let it bother me too much, she does it to herself and she's a little slow at realizing that Gareth could care less about her and the baby.


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I was more than ecstatic about moving in with Hannah and her possibly even being pregnant, I couldn't describe how happy I was that I had finally found someone that's committed as I am, or, well.. Maybe she's not willing to marry me yet, but moving in together was a pretty big step, right? I just hoped most of all that it lasted, and that I'd be happy with Hannah for the rest of my life. For the things I used to do, it was all over now, this was a new start and beginning a family could help even more in distracting me with the urges that hardly show their head anymore in the first place, but this was a concrete way to keep my mind occupied and to keep other people safe from the likes of my sick mind.


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I stepped closer to the living room and I could see Gareth laying down on the sofa, seemingly sleeping as he 'watched' television. I stopped when I walked in and stood there, waiting a few moments and I chuckled softly, "Gareth?" I said softly, not seeing him stir or even show a sign of waking up. "Gareth!" I let out next, seeing him pop up suddenly but then go back to laying down in a relaxing manner.

"Jesus, you scared the shit outta me.. What are you doing home? ..I thought you were spending the weekend with Hannah," he replied, shutting his eyes.

"Actually, uh.. Something came up, and I came here to talk to you about something," I said with a soft tone, getting a little nervous, though I don't know why. I would think he'd be happy for me, but there's always room for Gareth to twist it into something huge and irrational, not to mention cause more drama than ever needed.

"Uh-huh.. What about?" He asked with an uninterested and tired tone, sighing softly to myself as I walked over more into the living room and took a seat on one of the chairs.


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"Could you maybe sit up at least and listen to me? This is.. Kind of important.. And I'd like to get your, well.. I'm hoping you'll be supportive of it," I continue and Gareth finally opens one of his eyes and looks to me. He sighs and sits up, opening both his eyes now and he tries to show me that he's awake and ready, but he still looked dull and tired. 

"Okay, what is it," he asked, though I could tell he still wasn't paying attention as he looked to the television.

"Gareth.." I said in annoyance, standing and turning the television off and coming back to sit down, "Can you please pay attention?"

"Alright, alright.. What?" He asked, seemingly paying attention now and it took me a moment to gather my thoughts and try to figure out how to tell him my news.


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"Look, uhm.. Hannah and I have decided that we're.. Going to move in together, so.. I'm going to be taking my stuff and moving in with her soon," I said bluntly yet with hesitance, trying my hardest not to come off as if I want to leave because of him. I watched as Gareth woke up more and he looked to me, his expression blank and I decided to continue, "There's, uhm.. Also a chance that she might be pregnant, so.. Another reason why I'm moving in with her.. She's getting a test right now and she'll be back and we'll see for sure, but.. That's what I wanted to talk to you about," I finished, looking down to the ground momentary, wondering how he was taking this without looking at him, but I soon looked back up, seeing him making a somewhat confused, yet blank face. "What, what is it?"

He continued to hold his expression and he eventually shook his head, "Nothing.. It's just.. Wow, I don't really know what to say.. I guess I uh.. Wish you guys the best."


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I was astonished. I thought he would take this much worse and I wasn't prepared for any response such as the one I had received, from Gareth, no less. I sat there in slight shock and he kept giving me this 'what the fuck are you doing?' expression, "What's up with you? Don't look so fuckin' surprised. This is what you've always wanted, right? Start a family and all that? Stop acting like you don't deserve it.." He continued, and eventually my shock wore off and I sat there for a moment.

"You're not mad?" I questioned.

"Why the hell would I be?"

"I don't know.. Maybe cause you'll be here alone? I don't want you think I'm abandoning you after all these years or anything, it's just-"

"Cut the shit.. Jesus.. Who the fuck ever said you were abandoning me? I'm barely ever here in the first place, right? This way I can have more girls over without worrying about waking you up," he hinted and I scoffed.

"Yeah, maybe it is better that I'm leaving," I joked in return and he chuckled. 


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Before either of us could say anything else, both of our attention turned towards the front when we heard the front door being slid open. I stood up and met Hannah by the entrance of the living room, seeing her holding a bag and my heart starting racing, "So, you got it?"

"Yeah.. Should I just, uhm-" She motions towards the bathroom and I nodded, smirking when I saw she was just as nervous as I was.

"Yeah, yeah.. Go," I encouraged and she smiled softly.


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Hannah stopped momentarily and smiled towards the living room, "Nice seeing you, Gareth.." She said somewhat nervously and I looked to Gareth as well.

"Hi, Hannah," he replied blandly and he looked towards the television again, turning it back on and watching it as I stood there, Hannah then leaving the room and I walked a little more into the living room, deciding to watch TV with him until Hannah was done using the bathroom.

I began tapping my foot again like earlier and I couldn't even pay attention to whatever Gareth was watching, but apparently I was annoying him, "Will you sit down or something? You're starting to make me get nervous, too.. Just sit," he recommended strongly and I nodded, taking my seat from before and trying to watch the screen, though still continuing to struggle in focusing. Soon enough, my leg began bouncing lightly again and I could hear Gareth then let out a heavy sigh, still annoyed by my behavior, but it was definitely something I couldn't help.


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Gareth was right, I did deserve this, and I have been waiting for this for a while now. But, something was still strange about Gareth. Why was he so okay with it all?  This is literally the last way I expected him to react and as much as it rubbed me the wrong way, I couldn't help but also feel slightly relieved that it was this easy. I looked over towards Gareth without him noticing and he seemed rather content with a calm mind, but it only made me want to know what he was thinking that much more. Why was he acting so.. Supporting? Even if he was happy for me, I at least expected a few jokes at my expense, but all being told with a smile on his face. But, when he was supposedly happy for me just now, it was so.. Genuine. I couldn't help but feel that something wasn't right.


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"Okay, seriously, though.. Are you sure you're okay with this? You're way too damn calm," I continued, seeing him roll his eyes and looked over to me.

"Why can't you just accept that I'm happy for you? Maybe I don't even want you here, anyways. Maybe it would be better if we were apart for a little while. Maybe I don't even fuckin' like you anymore. Which reason do you want to believe? Because I mean a little bit of all of them, so take your pick," he replied shortly and I smirked. I knew it. He was pissed. He was mad that I was leaving and he's trying his best to try and hide it from me.

I sighed softly, looking to the ground and thinking for a moment before answering him. "You know.. It's not like I'm leaving for good, I'll still be living here in the Palms. I'm not even that far away. I'll still help you with Nina and the baby and whatever else you need help with, like I said I would. I won't go back on that. I'll still always be here for you, I just won't be physically here in this house anymore, that's all.. Why are you so upset about this?"


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"I'm not upset.. I don't want your delusions to make you feel like you should stay here because, alright.. I don't want you here anyways. I wasn't going to tell you this, but I've been counting down the days until you left. I'll probably throw a party on the day that you take your last possession and leave the house with it," he continued and I chuckled. He was such a bad liar right now, it was actually kind of nice and sad at the same time.

"Look.. I want this, okay? I've been wanting this and now that I actually have a chance at it with someone, I'm going to take that chance.. You said before after one of our fights that I should go out and find what I want and embrace it, and this is it.. You were encouraging me to do this a long time ago and now that I've finally found it, you're pissed at me.. What changed since then? I'd love to know," I replied and he looked away from me.

Gareth didn't seem too enthused to talk about this right now, though it seemed like he had a lot to say but there wasn't enough time to say it all. I watched as his mouth opened a little to begin talking, but he stopped when the bathroom door opened and we both looked towards the sound, seeing Hannah emerging from the bathroom.


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"Hold that thought," I replied to Gareth quickly and I sprung up to go to Hannah. I looked to her standing by the bathroom door and she looked up to me as I approached her, soon her cheeks turned a light red and a smile spread across her lips, "Are you..?" I asked and she nodded with an excited laugh. A wide smile took over my mouth and when I had gotten to her, I wrapped my arms around her and picked her up within my grasp, holding her tightly as she did the same in return. I set her down and I couldn't relax my lips from my grin as I pulled her into a long kiss, too excited to express my happiness into words and when the kiss ended, I looked to her with the same smile that refused to stop. 


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"We're still ready for this, right?" She asked, wanting reassurance and I kept my smile, nodding softly.

"Definitely. Even if we're not, we will be whenever the baby gets here. Everything's going to be fine," I replied and she let out a soft sigh as she smiled in return, pushing herself up gently to kiss me once more.

"Well? Is there more news than you just moving out or what?" Gareth said from the living room and Hannah and I parted from our kiss. I looked back and kept my smile, taking Hannah's hand and walking towards the living room with her.


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"Yeah, it seems that we're having a baby, too," I said with joy and looked to Hannah briefly, then looked back to Gareth.

I watched as he gave the best smile he could pretend to muster and he stood up, coming over to me first and I let go of Hannah's hand so I could hug my brother, "That's awesome news.. Good job, bro," he said as he hugged me, pulling back then and I nodded towards him.

"Thanks.." I replied, somewhat losing my smile as I swore I could almost feel his insincerity and being around him right now was kind of taking the fun out of realizing I was going to be a father.


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I watched as he then went to Hannah and he hugged her as well, congratulating her and I watched the happiness drain from her face as I could've swore to myself that he had whispered something to her, but I couldn't be too sure. Them hugging made me feel a little uncomfortable and when they were done, I took it upon myself to reach for Hannah's hand again and hold it.

"I'm going to talk to Hannah for a little bit, I'll be right back," I say softly and Gareth nods, walking back over to the couch and continuing to watch television as I take Hannah upstairs to my room for more privacy.


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"What is it?" Hannah asks when we get to my room and I pause for a moment, taking her hands within mine and looking to her face.

"I just want you to know that I'm going to figure out everything. I'll get a new job, we can save the money I make and use yours for whatever we need now if you want. I'll even get two jobs if I need to. I never want you to worry and I never want to be strapped for cash, it'll never happen and we'll always be well off, I promise," I say as a fact and I watch her smile, nodding in acknowledgement to my words.

"I'm not worried, I know things are going to work out perfectly. Do you want to come over tonight? I know I have work in the morning with the kids, but you're welcome to get a feel for it before you move any stuff in, that way you can decide if living with me is going to be at all tolerable before you make the commitment," she said with a chuckle and I smirked.


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"I'm sure I'll love every second of it," I replied, "I'm going to grab some clothes, you can wait in the car if you want.. I kind of wanted to talk to Gareth a little more, anyways.." I add and she nods in understanding. I pulled her in for a kiss before she stepped away and she walked towards the stairs, but stopped when I grabbed her attention again, "Oh, uhm.. When he congratulated you, what else did he say to you?" I asked, watching as her face went blank and she shrugged.

"Nothing, why?" She replied and I shook my head.

"No, reason.. I'll see you outside," I answered with a smirk and she continued going downstairs to wait for me in the car. I walked around my room and picked out a few things, pulling a small suitcase out from under my bed and packing it with a couple of essential things as well as some clothes to change into for the week, or however long I was planning on staying there.


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I walked downstairs and I set down the suitcase by the steps, walking down the hall and seeing Gareth standing in the living room, watching the TV without sitting and I raised my brow, "Why are you standing?"

"I was saying goodbye to Hannah, just haven't sat back down yet," he replied, still watching television and I didn't much care for his answer, yet I chose not to make a deal about it. "Why are you still here?" He asked in return and I put my hands into my pockets, walking closer to him and sighing softly.

"Well, I didn't think we were done talking yet.. Hannah's in the car waiting for me, but I don't want to leave without you getting everything off your chest now. I don't want you to stew in this until the next time we see one another and then have you blow up in my face or something, I just want to clear the air while we still can and while we're still living together, because once I leave tonight, every time I come back I'll be taking a little bit more of my stuff with me. Tonight is the start of my life with Hannah.. I want us to be okay when I leave here," I voiced genuinely and he was looking at me with a sense of slight grief, but he soon smirked to my surprise.


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"You know, we've been living together for almost a quarter of our lives already.. I'm not proud of how I feel about you leaving, but we gotta start our new lives somewhere, right? You're moving in with your girl, having a baby.. Pretty soon it'll be born and you guys will get married and you'll move away or something and you'll be too busy for your big brother," he replied and I lowered my gaze to the floor.

"Gareth, that's not tru-"

"Shut up, yes it is true, and let me finish.. Don't be pissed, I couldn't help but overhear you guys talking by the bathroom.. Come here, I wanna show you something," he continued and I grew puzzled, watching him walk towards his stairs and he walked down them to his room, me following shortly behind him.


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I followed Gareth downstairs and into his room, "Shut the door," he requested and I nodded, though I didn't know why he was worried about someone walking in.. 

"Come here," he continued and I stepped towards his dresser where he was standing, seeing him open his second drawer down and he reached deep underneath his clothes and my eyes widened when he pulled out stacks and stacks of money, placing them on top of the dresser and I swallowed hard as I felt my heart begin to race.


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"Uhm.. Gareth.. Where the hell did all of that come from?" I asked with worry, "How much is that, even!?" I stressed quietly and I heard him chuckle.

"It's about twenty grand, and don't worry about where I got it.. My point is that if you and Hannah ever need help with anything, don't be afraid to ask. Don't go getting two jobs or whatever just to support you two, well, soon to be three of you.." He replied and I was still in shock.

"Holy shit.. Gareth, you must be stupid to think I won't ask again where the hell this came from," I stressed a little more and Gareth chuckled again.

"Chill out.. I get a job every few months maybe and it usually pays this well, if not more. So don't ask me to stop, don't even ask any more questions about it.." he replied, grabbing the money and stashing it back into his dresser drawer.


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"Is it.. Clean money?" I wondered.

"Of course it is. I could spend all of it right now if I wanted.."

"That's not exactly what I'm asking," I added and Gareth looked to me, "Gareth.. Wha'd you do in order to get it?"

"That's for me to know and for you to never worry about.. So, let's just leave it at that. But, since you don't know, keep it in mind for whenever your in a pinch, alright?" He asked and I sighed, hating myself a little for nodding in agreement and I watched as he shut his drawer.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you being, so.. Nice?" I asked and I watched as he laughed.


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"Jesus, I'd think you'd be a little appreciative instead of skeptical.. Since when did I become the nice guy and you're the asshole, huh?" He mocked and I looked to him, still in somewhat shock at how much money he had placed before me. I knew Dad was pretty wealthy and he left most of everything he had with Bennu to take care of us while he stayed at the mental hospital, yet she never gave us a ton of money when we moved out. She bought the house for us, but she didn't give us much to live on since she wanted us to learn how to live on our own and make our own money like my Father had.. Most of the furniture and things inside we had gotten ourselves, but it only made me that much more curious as to what kind of 'job' Gareth had found where he would make that much money doing one thing every few months.. Nothing added up and nothing made sense.


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"Promise me that this job is not something you can go to jail for.." I requested and Gareth rolled his eyes.

"Honestly, we're going to do this right now? Just go to Hannah's already, you've kept her waiting this long.." He replied and he tried to push me out of his room, but I stopped him from doing so, putting my hands to his shoulders and he looked at me with stern eyes.

"Gareth, tell me that this 'job' you have will never land you in jail, or worse," I pressured again and I watched as he eventually nodded.

"Okay, it never will.. I'm good at what I do. I'm not going to end up in prison or anything, so stop worrying. Once you leave here, like you said, it's a new life for you. Don't spend the beginning of it worrying about me.. You have nothing to worry about, anyways.. Now go.. I'll see you whenever I see you. And you better take care of yourself, alright?" He replied and I sighed heavily..


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I pulled at his shoulders then and hugged him momentarily, "Thanks, Gareth.." I didn't believe a word he said, but I wasn't about to get into a fight with him at a time like this. I was supposed to be happy, I'm moving in with the woman I love and we're also having a baby, so why is the only thing I can think about right now is Gareth getting into trouble? This worry will never not be part of my life, he'll never not be my brother and I'll never stop feeling like I need to be there for him, but it was my turn to be selfish for a little while. It was my turn to experience happiness after all the ups and downs we've had and I felt that achieving that happiness was finding it with Hannah. There was a part of me that wished I could stay here with him and keep him out of trouble like our Father had told me to, but at the same time my selfishness outweighed the worry and I couldn't stay here another minute. 


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Gareth and I let go of one another and I turned around quickly, hiding my face before it showed any sign of emotion and I went upstairs to grab my luggage and leave. I didn't understand, I tried to wrap my head around everything that Gareth had said tonight and it was obvious to me that he didn't want me to leave, yet everything he said seemed as if he could care less, and that he just wanted me to live my life. But, why? Did he want me out of his hair so he can do whatever he wants without me there to nag? Did he really want the house to himself so he could bring more girls over? Or, did he actually hate the idea of me leaving and he really did want me to stay? I was confused, yet content.. Worried, yet happy. My insides twisted with so many polar opposite feelings that I began to feel a little nauseous from it all, but it began to go away a little when I saw Hannah waiting in her car for me.


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I tossed my luggage in the back and I opened the door for the passengers side, getting in and taking my seat. "Is everything okay?" Hannah asked when I sat there in silence.

"Yeah, just.. Drive," I replied and it took her a moment to start the car, but eventually she did and as the engine came to life, I looked in the side mirror and looked to the house, Hannah then driving further and further away until it was finally out of view and all I had now to look at was the long road ahead of me.



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Original chapter written and posted on April 15, 2014


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