Generation 2: Chapter 10

 

🛑 This chapter is not suitable for anyone under the age of 18 🛑

It's been almost a year and a half since Faline and I's fight that I didn't even know we had.. I was so drunk, I had blacked out that night and the last thing that I had remembered was grabbing another beer from the fridge when I got home. Faline told me what had happened the next day and I felt terrible.. I apologized profusely; I've been trying to make it up to her ever since, too. Not that she was holding it against me or anything, but I didn't want to lose her, especially when we had just gotten used to one another and have been pretty much inseparable ever since I went to college.. I didn't want to lose all that we had created for ourselves, everything that we had created together. I've graduated college with my business degree, thankfully; Auturo said he wouldn't help me, but I actually studied and he noticed, so when it came to test time, we would study together and I'd passed every test with at least a 'B' every time. I'm so thankful for Auturo and I'm glad I know him, he's helped me and my family more than he even realizes.

But.. I was unconditionally happy. Faline gave birth right before I graduated to twin boys and we named them Gareth and Gibson. Gareth is a little firecracker already, his personality was so different from Gibson. Gareth was always crying for attention; the moment I put him down, I swear he would notice when I would play with Gibson, and he would get jealous and cry instantly when I held his twin brother.. Gibson was so laid back though, only wanting attention when needed and he didn't care if I held Gareth more than him; he just sat in his crib and starred at me whenever I would circle their cribs trying to calm down Gareth. So, that's why while Faline was pregnant she looked bigger than Lana when Lana was pregnant.. Faline was carrying twins, just like Faline and her brother were twins.

After I had graduated and decided to take over caring for the kids, Faline wanted to go back to school and continue her education as well, so she could get a job, too. I tried telling her that she didn't need to, I still had plenty of money left over from inheriting it from my parents, and I would be working soon anyways to continue the income, but she insisted. Her mindset seemed to always be circling around school and a career, but who was I to stop her from doing what she wanted? I was planning on starting my own business, maybe even opening my own bar in town since that seemed to be the only thing that interested me in owning, or maybe even opening my own restaurant.. I still couldn't decide. I loved alcohol, but I also loved food, and I had gotten quite good at cooking since I had always watched my mother cook. I still had some of her own recipes in a cabinet in the kitchen. 

After I had successfully gotten Gareth to sleep finally, I picked up Gibson who was still awake. I played with him for a little bit, poking his nose and watching it twitch and he giggled after every time I did it. I chuckled at Gibson, admiring his eyes and how much more excitement and life they had in them than Gareth's. He yawned in my arms and I smiled, pulling him close to me and rubbing his back, "Don't worry.. Momma will be back real soon to visit," I said softly as I hugged him to me, then placed him in his crib and I watched as his eyes shut.

I quietly walked out of the twins' room, shutting the light off and closing the door silently. I let out a sigh of relaxation, glad that tonight the boy's were exhausted enough to not fuss too much when putting them to bed and I gazed out of the windows in the foyer. The lights from the city illuminated the house even more than my own lights were and I wanted to go out for a little bit, but then the boys would be left alone, and I couldn't do that.. My mind began to wander as I stared at the city lights, feeling somewhat alone and I didn't like it too much.. Before, I would usually be around my sisters 24/7, then I got closer with Lana and soon Lucy was my muse. Faline then kept me company, and if she didn't, it was my college friends and Bennu.. But with Faline gone now, and the boys now asleep, I didn't like not knowing what to do with myself and having no one to keep my mind at ease. I sighed once more, but with more of a sense of grief than relief. I haven't seen Bennu since I had went to the club with the guys the night I went back to college for my last year. I had to admit, I missed her, a lot; I've given her my number, telling her to call me if she ever changes her mind about being with me, but she's never called once in the entire time I've known her since my freshman year of college..

I grew desperate, taking advantage of Faline not being here and she wasn't going to be home until a week from now, pulling out my phone and I scrolled through my endless list of contacts. I hoped that by chance Bennu added her number in, but the more I scrolled, the more discouraged I grew. An idea ran through my head as I looked at the number for Barefoot, wondering if I should call the club and ask if I can talk to her.. A pinch of excitement ran through my body, wanting desperately to hear her voice and I caved in to calling the club.

I heard the phone ring and I recognized who answered, it was Avery, the black haired girl that Auturo liked, "Hello, thank you for calling Barefoot," she began and I heard loud music behind her slightly shouting voice.

"Avery? It's Jason, um.. Dubois.. Is Bennu there?" I asked.

"Jason? Man, you haven't been in here in a while, that's not at all like you, sweetheart," she replied and I sighed.

"Yeah, I got.. Caught up in something.. But, uh, is Bennu there? Working tonight?" I asked once more.

"No, sweetie, you didn't hear? She quit.. Maybe about a month after you were last here," she answered and my eyes widened.

"Did she sa.. D-Do you know why?" I asked in a slight panic, wondering why she hasn't called me at all since then like I had told her to so many times if she left..

"I don't know why.. She just said she was done and hasn't came back."

"Did she tell you to say anything to me? Leave a note or a number?" I asked.

"Nah, she didn't leave anything like that," she replied, her tone beginning to sound bored, "If that's all Jason, I gotta get back to work, hun, so.."

"Wait.. Do you know her number?"

"Even if I did, Jason, she never told me to give it to you if you just so happened to call, and you're not getting it, I'm not allowed to give out information like that to guys who have pathetically fallen in love with a stripper.. Bye, Jason," she retorted with an irritated tone and hung up.

I was beyond angry by her words, "I'm not in love with her.." I said softly to no one, putting my phone back into my pocket and letting out a heave of a sigh. 

I went to my room and left the light off, sitting on my sofa as my mind raced and the waves I watched from the ocean out my window couldn't even calm my nerves. I sat there for roughly two hours, just thinking, trying to find an explanation on why Bennu wouldn't - didn't call me like I had told her to so many times. Did she really not want to be with me? Every time we were together, it always seemed as if we were feeling all the same things without needing to speak of them, always having the greatest time together and it only made me wonder more why she didn't want to be with me.

To distract me from my constant thoughts, I went online and browsed the internet for a while, looking for places around town for sale and trying to figure out if any were a good place to start my own business. I was browsing for a few hours, noticing the time in the bottom right hand corner of the screen and it was almost 11:30pm. I looked to the baby monitor, knowing Gareth too well already and he always made a tiny fuss around now, waiting a few long moments and I eventually heard him beginning to cry, but right after that I heard him making gentle noises again and then I heard nothing. I smiled at his behavior; I always would jump straight to my feet and run to their room, but I'd only wake him from his fake cries and then he'd be up for hours with me, just to trick us in giving him attention. But, eventually I realized what he was doing, and I stopped going to his room every time he did it, he always went back to sleep after crying for about half a minute. Such a fussy boy..

My cell rang and I x'ed out what I was doing, looking to my phone and sighing when I saw Lana's name on the ID. I stood from the chair and let it ring a few times.. I haven't spoken more than 5 words to Lana ever since her 'friend' Matt came over while I was picking up Lucy..

"Hello...?" I answered with a bored tone.

"Hi.." Lana replied.

"Is anything wrong? Are you and Lucy okay?" I wondered, trying to figure out why she would call me out of the blue and late at night. 

"No, we're okay," she added with the same bored tone that I had answered with.

"Then, why'd you call..?" I asked.

"I'm moving in with Matt, and I'm taking Lucy with me.. He got a job somewhere else," she continued her bland tone and my eyes widened in horror.

"W-What?"

"Um.. I'm - taking - Lucy - and - leaving.. Stupid. Did you not hear me?" She questions angrily, and even through the phone I can tell she's drunk; she has Lucy, too, which only made me more furious that she was drinking while Lucy was asleep.. What if Lucy woke up and needed her, and she was plastered? What if she dropped her? What if she.. Just.. I was furious once again.

"What the fuck Lana!? You can't just up and leave! What would Lucy say!? She would miss me like crazy! But I know for a fact you'd probably just lie to her and tell her some bullshit to make me look bad! Hoping she would just forget me! Am I fucking wrong!? What the fuck is wrong with you?" I yelled. I couldn't take it anymore, I was so tired of all these surprises she's been springing on me lately. "You can't take my daughter away from me!"

I heard her give a gentle chuckle from her drunken behavior to my words, my blood boiling and I felt as if I was going to crush my cell phone as I held it, "Yeah.. Well, I don't even know why you still label her as that.." She replied and I was at a loss for words.. I.. I couldn't speak.. Even though she had never admitted it, it hurt me more than ever now finally confirming her words, and confirming my constant assumptions ever since Lucy was born, "Good luck winning her in a court hearing, but, anyways.. You can come by tomorrow and say goodbye, that's all I'm giving you."

Wh..What the fuck was happening right now? Have I lost my mind? Did I hear her correctly?? 

"Lana.. Baby.. Please.. Don't do this to me.. I.. I-I know she's not mine.. But please, I've been her father for 4 years.. 4 fucking years! And it was all because of you! Even though we've never talked about, I know.. But, that still doesn't mean I don't have every right to try and keep her close to me! You've tricked me this entire time! I.. I love that girl so much, so fucking much.. Please.. Please don't take her from me," I beg her, like I always find myself doing..

"Tomorrow, 11:00am.. Any later and we're not going to be here," she replied and that's the second person that has hung up on me tonight. I looked at my phone and it shook in my nervous hand as I watched the call end and go to the home screen, my heart racing and I turned on my heal, my entire body hot with rage and I raced towards my bedroom door, running out and I nearly fell down the stairs I was racing so quickly to get to my car outside to go to Lana's. 

I drove to Lana's, though I don't really remember driving there; one second I was in my room, the next, I had typed in Lana's code to get buzzed in that she didn't know I knew and I was on her floor, attempting to unlock the door using one of my credit cards. I was having a hard time thinking, it was almost as if my body knew what to do for me and I felt that even if I didn't want to be doing this, I was. I finally managed to slip the credit card in at just the right angle and I hear the door make a 'click' sound, letting me know that it was unlocked and I place my credit card back into pocket. 

There she is.. Out on the balcony, dancing with herself and still drunk no doubt. This has never happened before, this feeling in spine, the voice of reason gone and my entire body felt numb. I was mad, so, so mad.. I don't need this from her anymore. I don't need her constant torment, lies, her ability to keep me stuck on this invisible leash so tight without ever giving me any slack or room to run. I was her pet, I was her bank account, and I was the idiot that fell for it all. She made a fool out of me and I couldn't let her do it anymore; I won't let her take what's mine.

I walked through the kitchen and opened the door to go outside, the music then becoming clearer and louder, though I couldn't make out a single word they were saying or even the rhythm; I was too distracted. The door shut behind me but it was still too quiet for Lana to hear, continuing to be oblivious to my presence. I watched her for a little bit, letting her enjoy herself a little more before finally speaking up, "Looks like fun, mind if I join?"

I watch as Lana almost jumps out of her skin and she stops dancing, looking to me in serious confusion, "J-Jason? H-How the hell did you get in h-"

"Do you enjoy hurting me? Does it bring you some sense of solace whenever you hear the pain in my voice? The lifelessness you bring to my eyes when you tell me terrible things?" I asked. She doesn't answer me and even through the darkness of the night, I watch as her throat bounces from swallowing hard from her nerves. "Well..? Do you enjoy it?"

"Wha.. What the hell are you talking about? Y-You need to leave, Jason! Right now!" She voiced in concern and anger, her words over exaggerated due to the alcohol. I was happy when I noticed the intense finger she pointed at me begin to shake slightly, she was scared right now. I loved it. I've been fearing this day ever since Lucy was born, that one day she'd take her from me, but no.. That wasn't going to happen. I moved closer to her slowly and Lana continued to bark orders at me, "Jason, I'm warning you! Turn around and leave, or.. Or.. I'll call Matt, a-a-and I'll call the cops, and you can be sure as hell that you'll never set eyes on Lucy again!" She called out. I stopped about ten feet from her and stare at her angered expression, her words not phasing me in the slightest.

"Are you ever going to answer my questions?" I asked.

"Leave, Jason.. Now!" She yelled again and I was glad that Lucy couldn't hear anything that was happening out here.

My expression was enraged, stepping closer to her now and she grew more scared, putting her hands up in an attempt to keep her distance from me. "This entire time, all this time you've lied to me about so many things.. Kept me from the one thing that you made me believe was my own.. You've been stringing me along and for what, my money? My own happiness? My life has never been the same ever since you came into it. You've been playing me for a fool for too long now, Lana, and I can't take it anymore. Lucy isn't going anywhere, but I don't think I can say the same thing for you."

"J-Jason, please, don't come any closer.. Stay away from me!" She began to plead, her mannerism surprising me since I figured she wasn't afraid of anything by how she's always so confident and almost proud whenever she knows she's hurt someone. "I-I won't leave, okay? Just, p-pretend I didn't say anything.. I'm not taking her away anymore, alright?" She continued to plead.

"Like I'm supposed to believe that after everything else you've ever said to me.. Every time I saw you, talked to you, you could've told me the truth, you could've prevented this and made everything right.. Hell, I may have taken the news better before. If you had even told me that she wasn't mine from the beginning, I would've still helped you with her.. But, who knows now, right?" I paused for a moment and for once in her miserable life, she has nothing to say, "The moment I leave, you'd get Lucy and get out of the city and as far away from me as physically possible, I can't let that happen.. Not anymore.. Not after everything I've done for you, for her, for putting up with all of your bullshit.. I can't do it anymore Lana, and I'm not going to let you continue it."

I stepped closer, closing in on the gap between us and I watched as her body came to a stop when she had backed all the way into the guard railing. She looked behind her and down, then back to my eyes, terror written all over her face and I couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement flow through me. 

"I never thought we'd end up like this, honestly.. When I came to your mother for help when I was little, I was a messed up little boy.. I saw things, gruesome things, and she helped me with what I saw. She helped me through my parents death, and I met you soon after they died, she thought you'd be good for me. We were friends for years, Lana, ever since we were kids. We looked out for one another, helped each other through things that no one else could help with. You were my best friend, actually, I didn't take the time to get to know anyone else as much as I grew to know you. Eventually we grew intimate, and it.. It almost makes me wonder if you knew what you were doing the whole time.. The moment I turned 18 I got the money I had inherited from my parents, and out of nowhere you were pregnant, apparently with my baby, too. But, that was never the case, she wasn't mine. Now that I look back on it, I can't remember having sex with you around the time that we should've conceived her.. The news just filled me with so much joy that it blinded me, I never once thought she wasn't mine until she was born, but.. It was better to just accept it than to bring it up and risk losing both of you. After she was born, though.. Everything changed. You grew heartless and cold, it was hard to visit Lucy though easy to convince you to let me buy her things, to let me take care of the daughter you told me I had.."

Suddenly my hand was on Lana's throat and I could feel her quick pulse over her hair that was underneath my fingertips. She could still breath, but it was difficult for her to form words, "You've lied to me for the last time. You've tormented me, used me, and killed me inside from it all, but this where it all stops. I don't want to put Lucy through this anymore, she doesn't deserve it. You're her mother, and I'm not her father, but I'll be both for her from now on, so you don't have to worry about a thing. She'll be very well taken care of.. But nothing will get better until you're taken care of." The corner of my mouth twitches into a smirk and with a hard exertion of my strength, I pushed at Lana's throat and she lost her footing, falling over the rail and I heard her head hit the concrete on the edge of the building and as quickly as I had pushed, her body was out of my sight just as quick.

I didn't hear her scream on the way down, the grip I had on her throat must've hindered her from being able to use her voice as she fell to her death. A breeze went by and I inhaled deeply, looking around the city and a smile ran across my lips. I couldn't describe what I was feeling, I still felt numb, I still felt as if I wasn't even there, non-existent and unaware. But, I felt free.. Excited, exhilarated, ecstatic, and finally, at ease. I let out a gentle chuckle and turned around, walking back towards the door to walk back through Lana's place and I left without waking Lucy.

 

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Original chapter written and posted on July 30, 2013